Dreams of rain
by Cybille
Summary: A story about Midorima and Takao. Takao is slightly angsty later on and the story is full of hidden meanings and "easter-eggs", as per request. Midorima's POV.
1. Chapter 1

I haven't seen him in a while now. I hesitatingly look at my cellphone resting on the windowsill next to me; he hasn't called either. It's not like I'm worried, but it's unlike him to not bother me at least twice a day. A little annoyed, I sigh and rest my head on my hand as I look out the window. It has rained for the past three days, but it's warm. Takao would probably come up with a stupid idea like playing basketball outside, saying something like "letting the rain shower over you makes you taller" or some other cultural and ethnic belief he's heard somewhere.

He lives close to me and he usually goes past my house when he comes home from school or the store, but I haven't noticed him on the streets either. Of course, I would notice Takao by him noticing me - usually he'd wave at me like a goofball if he saw me and yell "Shin-chan", ugh -, but I haven't heard nor seen anything. And I would notice him in the crowd too, that easy-going attitude that seems to seep through his posture, his hair carelessly slicked back and a large smirk on his face. ... He's very noticeable. And so am I, I think to myself after gritting my teeth from hitting my head against the window frame I was just leaning out of. It's sometimes hard, being so tall and all. Takao probably doesn't feel that way, of course not, he has even whined to me how he dislikes being so short compared to me. While I pack together my training outfit, I remember that and grab an umbrella from the hook hanging next to my wardrobe.

I was slightly taken aback when I didn't see Takao at practice either. We were supposed to train together, perfecting our pass-n-shoot technique. It wasn't only the disappointment that interrupted my gameplay tonight. I kept missing my shots, making me more frustrated than ever. Of course. Takao wasn't here. He's the one who somehow gets me all my lucky items lately. I got used to it and relied on him to bring me whatever I needed. I listen to Oha-Asa again, paying close attention.

"Cancer is today on the 7th place, so you might feel a little down! But worry not, as everything else, this shall too pass! Your color today is gray, befitting your position and the weather outside!" Well, isn't that dreadful. "Your lucky item today is a 100-yen coin! Keep it with you to cheer yourself up later on!" But I don't have any cash on me and Takao isn't here. "You'll get along well with Leos today, but steer clear from Scorpios! With both of you having claws, you might hurt each other!" Wasn't Takao a Scorpio?

Unsatisfied, I remove my headphones and tell Ōtsubo that I'll be going home. He agrees, knowing and understanding that I'll only be in their way if I stayed. Having quickly washed up and changed my clothes, I opened up my umbrella again and began walking home. The streets were empty, as usually during the rain. Sometimes I think that Takao is the only person who likes rain.

"Shin-chan?" I hear the usual upbeat voice question me. I turn around and see Takao a little ways behind me, soaking wet. "Shouldn't you be at practice?" "Shouldn't you? And don't call me Shin-chan," I retorted back, watching him shift from one foot to another. "No," he just answered. I narrow my eyes at him and raise my glasses a little to see his face better. "Where have you been for those past few days?" I asked as he ran next to me to walk home together. "Suzume's ill, so I've been looking after her." Takao's younger sister. He's good with little children, isn't he? He even made friends with Sasaya, who's really shy. "Is she alright?" I ask, feeling mild concern. "Getting better every day," he smiles at me and rattles a white apothecary bag in front of me. "You could have at least called." "What?! Did Shin-chan miss me?" he grinned and laughed heartily. "Not really." Not true.

"Well, haven't you listened to Oha-Asa? Cancer and Scorpio haven't gotten along very well according to the stars lately," he opened his mouth to catch some of the rain pouring down from the sky. "So, being cautious, I haven't contacted you." "I thought you didn't believe in Oha-Asa," I said, pondering how I could had missed our correlations. "But you do." Trying to change the topic, I remark if he isn't disgusted wearing such wet clothes. "Not really. What, you'd be willing to give me your umbrella?" "I don't want to get taller," I answer, adjusting my sports bag to my other shoulder, so it wouldn't be in his way. "I thought you didn't believe in that," he grins. "I don't." But you do.

We stop at a vending machine a few steps away from his house; we came from the other side this time so he'd make it home sooner to his sister. He suddenly tosses me something shiny and after catching it I realize that it's a 100-yen coin. "Buy yourself some red bean soup, Shin-chan, you look like you're feeling a little under the weather!" he smiles and starts going up the stairs to his house. "Will you come to practice tomorrow?" I ask while he's unlocking the front door. "Wouldn't miss it in the world, Shin-chan! See you tomorrow!" After that I turn to the vending machine and having slipped in the coin, I smile to myself.


	2. Chapter 2

I could not believe it. Shūtoku, Seirin and Kaijō - we're all here. I bitterly watch how my teammates bicker with our rivals about us all staying in this particular training camp, while I knew the place was popular among all teams in the first place, but no, they wouldn't listen to me. They wanted to come here, "it's nice here". And here I thought that my team was the most grown-up. As I look at them, I realize that the only ones like that are myself and Ōtsubo. But Takao isn't fighting. Instead he is casually chatting away with Kasamatsu. They're both point guard, aren't they? I am amazed that they have so much to talk about. From the second they saw each other, there was and still is constant laughing and sarcasm and commentary about the teams; something connecting them. Their words have the potential to be endless. I'm not worried. I think.

As we walk towards our appointed lodging, I ask him about Kasamatsu. "I don't think it's wise to affiliate with our rivals that much." "Kasamatsu is an amazing fellow point guard, Shin-chan, we share strategy," he grins at me and mimics making a powerful pass. "That isn't wise either." They could easily best us during the next game if they knew too much about our new tactics. "But it was wise to help Kagami and Kuroko?" he nudges me with his elbow as he laughs. "You're so controversial, Shin-chan." Maybe.

Having settled in in our room, Ōtsubo comes in. "We're training with Seirin and Kaijō, since Seirin's the only one with their coach here," he says, to which our team shares different emotions. That's right, that Aida-girl goes everywhere with her team. I vaguely remember Kise laughing about their coach being not very good with warm climates or something, and Nakatani is currently preoccupied with an English teacher seminar. We change clothes and walk to the beginning of a trail running through the woods, where Seirin is already waiting. Soon enough we can see Kaijō advancing as well, Kise annoying Kasamatsu up front. The next few hours we do all sorts of training, always seeking to best each other in stupid exercises. Now we're going to play against each other.

The matches we do are quite chaotic. Our teams are mixed and I am to play against Kuroko and Takao along with Kaijō's extras. You have got to be kidding me. Takao gives me a wide smirk when he catches a pass from Kuroko. No matter what he does, it won't work. "I know your technique," I mouth more to myself and prepare to take the ball from him, but I miss. He's too fast all of sudden. No, it's just an illusion. As I dash alongside him, trying to cover him and not allow him near the basket, I remember. I remember how he kept chatting with Kasamatsu during our warm-up. No way.

I stop when I see Takao fall and a whistle blow. I rammed into him with my shoulder before in a desperate attempt to stop him from scoring. I know he's not so good in shooting and I'm much taller than him and even though he's excellent in passing, I never make fouls such as this. As I look behind myself, I notice Kuroko and behind him was one of Kaijō's players, who could had easily made the shot. As I turn back to Takao, I question the look he's giving me. It's... as if full of hate. "You're so desperate to remind me you're stronger than me that you'd push me?" he asks as he stands up, brushing the rubble off his scraped knee. It's bleeding. "I just took you as an opponent." False. I took him as a threat. "Are you kidding me? You don't shove your opponents, Shin-chan. Someone take over for me, I'll go to the bathroom," he yells to the bench with a slightly less irritated voice and leaves. I know I won't see him for the remainder of the day. I'll apologize during dinner. At least, I'll try.

Having arrived at the mess hall, I notice that he's already sitting at Kaijō's table. Not bothering him, I sit down alongside my team and enjoy the traditional dinner laid on the table before us. About half an hour later I notice Takao leaving and I stand up to follow him. It's weird. He's usually the one running after me, but this time I'm the one chasing him. "Takao," I say his name when we're outside and he's rattling with the vending machine. He turns around, questioning. "Yes, Shin-chan?" Stop calling me that. "I'm..." The words won't come out of me. I'm not the one to apologize. He folds his arms, cocking an eyebrow at me and smugly smiling at me. I realize he isn't angry at me anymore, but still... I find I have the need to explain myself. I think he would like me to do so too. I somehow know.

"What happened before... You know I don't give up easily; I fight for what I want. It takes a lot for me to actually give up on something or someone. And it's to be the best in basketball, Takao. I can't just throw away all the hard work and time I put into it. I can't just give up because times are hard, especially if that person means so much to me. I keep fighting for what I want until I can't fight anymore, until giving up is the only option I have left. And then I fight some more. This is how it works." "That thing." "What?" I ask, not understanding his comment. "You referred to basketball as a person," he cheekily smiles at me. "Oh." What if I meant...?

"This is how it works?" he sighs and pushes a button on the machine. Having taken out the can from it, he folds his arms again and furrows his brows at me. "This is how it works? Shin-chan, you're young until you're not, you love until you don't, you try until you can't, you laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh and everyone must breathe until their dying breath. No, this is how it works. You peer inside yourself, you take the things you like and try to love the things you took and then you take that love you made and stick it into someone else's heart, pumping someone else's blood and walking arm in arm. You hope it doesn't get harmed, but even if it does, you'll just do it all. Again." "You should stop reading quotes, you forgot to replace that someone with basketball," I correct him, looking at him widen his narrow eyes. "Right, sorry about that," he laughs it off and tosses me the can. It's red bean soup. I watch him return to the mess hall. What if he meant...?


	3. Chapter 3

His hair is just soaking, why is he so put on not using an umbrella is beyond me. No one is that serious about their beliefs, are they? He is, I guess. He's going to ruin his health and clothes. Not to mention the books in his schoolbag. At least he won't get any rain here, under the bus stop. He's humming to himself. Eyes closed, enjoying an imaginary tune he's hearing in the sound of rain. I can hear thunder a little ways ahead, but nothing else. I find myself looking at him again and quickly turn away. But what if I didn't? I couldn't. Just thinking about it makes my glasses foggy. I would just brush against him, I think to myself when I readjust them. This clenching feeling... I don't think I could stop just there. Just as I reach my arm he decides to turn to me. "What's the time, Shin-chan?" I don't mind it anymore. I suppose. "16:37," I swiftly answer as I look at my wristwatch, which luckily just happened to be on the same hand.

I cock an eyebrow at him; his eyes still lingered on my face. And suddenly he's much more closer, reaching upwards. And before I can stop myself, I'm leaning forward...

It lasted for only a mere second, but it felt as if a lifetime. He let go of my shirt immediately when we heard the bus come, but I can still feel his fingers. His bony hip under my hand. And his lips. It wasn't even a kiss, we just brushed together. He enters the bus quietly, unusually. As I follow him, I can't help but to feel a sense of hollowness inside me. It doesn't make any sense.

We ride the bus in silence. Since it's half-empty anyway, the silence presses even more. I occasionally glance at Takao, but he just keeps staring out of the window, his head rested against the glass. I don't feel good. Usually he'd chatter loud to keep me awake after a tiresome day. He knows I haven't slept well lately. I yawn as I get more tired. Drifting, the only things I can feel are my own heartbeat, the vibration of the bus and his thigh against mine. I'm sleepy.

I suddenly awaken when I feel him nudging me. "Hey, Midorima, it's our stop." Midorima? I stand up from the seat and make my way towards the door. For a moment I thought he won't come, but he's already next to me. But not talking.

He walks so close to me along the street that he doesn't even get wet anymore from the rain. I don't know why, but I suddenly have the need to thank my umbrella. The sound of our steps is only accompanied by the lashing of rain against surfaces and dogs barking somewhere. His hand brushes against mine occasionally. The next time he does, I'll... As he touches me again, I loosely catch his ring and little finger between mine. He doesn't pull away. But he's still quiet.

Having reached my house, he lets go and waves at me. His lips say "bye", but I don't hear it because of a car driving past. As I watch him walk up the hill-like street, I wonder - will he call me tonight? He probably will. He's not that good in Physics and we have a test tomorrow.

He didn't call.

As I exit my front door in the morning, I can hear his upbeat voice some length away. "Hey, Shin-chan!" he cheers as I go down the small set of stairs and greet him good morning. I feel uneasy. "Man, today's test is gonna be a cakewalk!" Takao brags as he folds his arms behind his head. His laid-back attitude... He's not that good in Physics. He laughs. "I had the weirdest dream yesterday! About you, Shin-chan, and the bus." "Is that so?" I feel empty inside.


	4. Chapter 4

Everything's back to normal, I guess. I'm not sure how I feel about it, though. At least I still have him. In a way.

I watch how Takao is loitering on my bed. I just made it, he could be a little more compassionate. He's filing his nails slowly, with no purpose whatsoever, and lazily slips his eyes from one corner of my room to another. "Man, Shin-chan, your room is always so neat, come clean mine too." I rarely visit him. "Thank you, I guess, and no," I answer and turn another page in the usual magazine; I've given up on the nickname. It focuses on point guards in the rising high schools around the area. "That's a great photo of me, isn't it?" he grins, peeking over my shoulder. "Not really." It really is. "Ah, Shin-chan, you're so mean!" he whines and falls again to his back, while I sit, leaning against the bed. It's a powerful mid-game photo of him dribbling in some match I have no particular memory of. He's a great basketball player, very fast. He was probably overpowering his opponent during this run, judging by that small smirk on his face.

"You haven't been really talkative lately, Shin-chan, are you angry or something?" I'm not that talkative in the first place. In my opinion, at least. I turn to face him and say: "Just because I'm silent doesn't mean I'm suffering from some negative emotion. Maybe I just don't have anything worth saying." "Oh." What was that sigh just now. "You're so difficult, Shin-chan." Maybe.

He isn't done yet. "It's that bad mood of yours why I'm permanently stuck between "I really want to talk to you" and "I don't want to annoy you"." "Is that so?" He's struggling because of me. Why does that make me feel slightly better? "So cold, Shin-chan, as always."

"Is something bothering you? You can tell me, no matter how ridiculous - knowing you -, I promise I won't laugh! Best friends are people who make your problems their problems, just so you don't have to go through them alone." "I don't have any problems," I sigh, a little annoyed. I guess we really seem to be back to normal. It started to rain outside again. "Everyone has problems. Some are just better at hiding them than others." Is that about me? Or... I rarely ask about him, I think and I feel my stomach as if sink.

"A bird has been giving me a lot of headache lately," I say and turn completely around, resting my head on my folded arms on the bed. I know my pants won't get dirty, I just vacuumed under the bed. "Well, you can't escape sound. I guess you just have to grow accustomed to its song," he laughs. Is he joking? I close my eyes as I release another sigh, but I open them again, jolting. He's shuffling through my hair. It doesn't feel awkward, though. He's smiling. To me the smile seems a little sad. "You don't usually share personal things and feelings. If you share them with me, it's because you trust me, isn't that right, Shin-chan?" "I do." I do trust him. His hand lingers in my hair for a minute more before he takes it and folds his arm under his head.

As the floor gets colder, I stand up and decide to close the window. "Don't, I like the smell," Takao objects and smiles, humming some tune again. "The floor is cold and I don't want to sit on the computer chair." I really don't feel like sitting up straight. I want to loiter, like him; I'm a little tired. "The bed's alright, though, here," he mumbles, sleepy, and scoots over. Should I go? It is my bed, after all. I lie down next to him. "What?" I ask when he's looked at me for a little while with a small grin. "For a smart guy you're sometimes so stupid, Shin-chan," he laughs and takes the magazine from my hands. What?


	5. Chapter 5

"And this is my bedroom!" he bashfully widens his arms as we step into his room. It's much smaller and messier than mine, but... somehow I like it more. "My table, where I'm supposed to do my schoolwork, my shelves, full of books and manga, my bed, where I break my heart every morning, my TV, where I catch all my favorite shows..:" He continues at some length to give an overview of his room. More like of every single thing in here. "I've been here before, idiot." "Yes, I know, but it's such a rare event, maybe we've changed some rooms or something during that time! Oh, and this is my cat, Shi!" he cheers as he picks up a black young cat from the floor. "Shi?" "Yes, because of her tooth, see? And her gender too..." he lifts the left corner of the cat's mouth and it reveals a slightly bent fang. I knew I was overreaching it. "I got her from the pound, she has been through a lot, I think." It's true. Even though its fur seems healthy and silky, some of it shorter - a sign of it growing back on the bald spots. It also seems to bear some scars and a part of her right ear is missing. "Even though she looks a little rough, she's the sweetest kitty there is. She's always cheering me up after a long day." Is that so? "Hahaha, well, she's nice to me, at least!" Takao adds as I reach my hand to pet the cat, but get hissed at instead.

Takao turns on the TV and we leizure on the floor, not paying much mind to it. It's more to keep the background running. I came here because I forgot my keys and my family isn't home yet. As good as an excuse than any.

"I'll follow you to the TMDU, Shin-chan!" he laughs when I ask him about what he's planning on doing after high school. "You won't get in with your scores if they remain as they are now." "So mean, Shin-chan! Of course, I won't become a doctor, deciding over one's life is too much for me to handle. I'll become a male nurse, you'll see." He laughs even more. He's probably imagining himself in some kind of a nurse's dress. Luckily we still have two years.

Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all. ... Love?

He must have taken my pondering expression as an annoyed look and now he's patting me on the back. "Don't be so angry, Shin-chan, don't worry, I'll leave you alone after Shūtoku and let you become the best doctor there ever was. You'll meet lots of unfun and serious coworkers like yourself and pass the time in the operation room by making records by from how far you can toss an organ into an open patient! Or whatever it is that basketball enthusiasts as doctors do." ... What? But ruling that out, I can say I'm not worrying. Because of that, at least.

I sigh. "Life is only going to get harder. We're going to have to deal with so many controversial and different aspects of life. Who knows what we'll have to go through." "It's okay, though. Isn't it?" He asks as reassurance when I look at him, questioning. "It is okay, I think. It's okay to want someone you can't have. It's okay to keep friendships when you don't want them, or when you want something more. It's okay to cry when you're hurt, and it's okay to stay mad at someone who hurt you. Believe it or not, it's always gonna be okay. That's just how it works, Shin-chan. Sometimes, things don't always work out the way you want them to and a lot of times it seems like they never will. But it's okay. That's how life's supposed to go. It's all about learning how to deal with the bumpy parts in the road and waiting until they're smooth again. It's all about forgiving and forgetting. It's all about waiting and wishing. That's just how life is."

I look at him, unbelieving. Takao is actually smart, no matter how dumb he might behave on some days. I know that. But... To hear him ponder about something like this... It's really quite something else. I wonder, has he thought of those things a lot. Maybe lately... even more?

Shi is purring in his arms. She's the same shade of black as Takao's hair. "She's calm now, want to pet her again?" he smiles at me. "Yes."


	6. Chapter 6

We finally reach Takao's house, soaking wet and a little out of breath. It started to rain on the way home and since we took the way from his house, we decided to wait here until the clouds clear out. He knows I don't like to walk in the rain. I could just run home, I couldn't possibly get any more dripping. But I don't want to. Though, why won't I just ask for an umbrella? I don't know. Why isn't he offering one - I don't know. But I'm glad, I think.

Having made tea, we're up in his room, sitting on the bed. He has cleaned his room. I'm glad we had practice today, so I don't have to tolerate the wet uniform and can wear my sports clothing instead. I watch as Shi scrapes the window to go outside. I happily comply. "Don't close the window, who knows when she might decide to jump back inside!" Takao warns me as I take hold of the handle again. I slide it close, leaving a big enough gap for the cat, and return to the bed. To him, I think.

He gives me a towel to dry my hair and when I look at him, a smirk forms on my face. "What?" he furrows his brows. "Nothing, really." His hair. It's all shaggy and drooping in every direction from drying it. After I shuffle the towel a few times, I can hear him laugh. "So you do have a forehead under all that hair!" he chuckles as he slaps my forehead. I slick the bangs back, I dislike the feeling of wet hair. "And it's so big too. No wonder you're so smart, Shin-chan!" "Then how come you're not?" I ask and trace his wide forehead. He slaps my hand away. I can read nothing from his face. "I am, it's your fault you don't notice it," he jokingly pouts and folds his arms. His behavior is as of a child's sometimes. But I don't mind anymore. It's kind of... alright. He notices the lack of my reply and looks at me, expectantly. I don't know what to say. Not anymore.

It's been going on for days now. Weeks. There are no flaws, no weaknesses. That's what Oha-Asa says. The throbbing of my heart ever louder. Do I believe it?

The bedroom door creaks open and in comes Suzume. "Kazu-chan, I can't understand this," she yawns and waddles to the bed to sit next to Takao. Kazunari. "Suzu, you know I don't like maths," he whines with almost the same tone as his sister, making her roll her eyes. "Let me see," I offer and lean over Takao. He's warm.

7th grade, alphabetical uses in equations. I swiftly show her the way to go with these, but not the answer. Much like with her older brother. Yet... I wish sometimes he showed me the way. Though... I'm not the one to follow.

"Thanks, Shin-chan!" she grins, making me frown. I wouldn't be amazed if their parents called me as such as well. "Don't make such an ugly face at my sister!" Takao laughs and pushes me away. Was it because I was done helping Suzume? Or... He felt uncomfortable, I guess.

As we watch her leave, he sighs. "You're awfully warm for someone who displays such a cold heart at times," he grins at me. Was he always this close? Our shoulders touch as we sit against the wall. ... Does he have a fever?

I lean against him more, sighing. I would come off as tired. He rests his head against mine. He doesn't say anything. I can only hear his slow breathing. He sighs. He's sad. "Dreams are deceiving me again and before long, I'm going to wake up with a broken heart again, Shin-chan." Dreams. ... He had the weirdest dream. He breaks his heart every morning.

I look up to him when he presses his hands against his face. "You're always right: I'm so stupid, Shin-chan," he gasps. You're not, Takao. I am.

He yelps as I pinch his sides. "I'm still here." I won't fade away. Realizing what I speak of, he grows tense. His cheeks and the tip of his ears form a fluid and even shade of carnation. He's just staring at me, his eyes slightly watery. I don't even remember leaning closer. I want to ask him something. A question I have worn on my lips for days.

"Do you love me?" I ask. He shot his eyes down. He's chewing his lip. And... in his hesitation, I found my answer. But... hearts are often broken by words left unspoken. I ask again. "Do you love me?" He pulls his knees to his chest. "Do you love me?" He nods. I ask again. And again. And again. I want to hear him say it. I want him to admit what I'm too cowardly to do. The rain doesn't lash that heavily against the window anymore.

"Yes!" he finally yells at me, eyes still wet, furious. "For how long, I don't know, but you... It's all your fault I'm not the Takao Kazunari I knew." His fingers brush my face. He's checking if I'm still here. "I'm here," I whisper and take his hand, brushing his fingertips against my lips. "I'm here." He keeps repeating he loves me as I hide my face in his neck, slowly pulling him to my lap. But... he's still devastated. He must still think of it as a dream. I still remember the touch of his lips from the bus stop.

I lift my head and look at him stare at me, gritting his teeth. "I wanted you to acknowledge me, do you remember?" he asks, voice shaky. I remember. "Have you forgotten that I do acknowledge you?" He hasn't. "And then... it's too embarrassing." I put my forehead against his. "It's not." He still doesn't believe me. I can't be so cowardly while he is so courageous.

"This isn't a dream, is it?" he asks and I can feel his legs tighten around me. Is he scared? "No. This is reality. You are my reality." He suddenly laughs, surprising me. As he wipes the tears from his eyes, he chuckles: "Leave it to Shin-chan to say something so lame." I smile and his grin widens. I know now. As I slowly close the gap between his lips and mine, I tell him how I love him. Over and over again.

Again I am left with only a brush when he turns away suddenly upon hearing the door of his bedroom open. The feeling of mortification I'm going through is indescribable as I stare back at Suzume, holding another notebook. She drops it. "I'm telling mom!" she shrieks and even before she's gone from the door, both Takao and I are hot on her trail. She can run fast for a 7th-grader. I'm surprised, though, when I see Takao mercilessly tackle her on the ground. "What was that?" I can hear their mother yell from downstairs. Before Suzume can answer, however, Takao muffles her with his hand. "Nothing, mom, I just tripped over Suzu's stupid toys!" he yells, still lying on his sister. Seriously now, those siblings, I think to myself as I sigh. We then go back to Takao's room, holding her hostage, to come to terms of surrender and silence.

It's sunny outside.


End file.
